As soon as I was born, I held my nose with both hands. And seeing that, mother said, I am a temporary genius. And crying tears of happiness, father bought a medical book. I had the book almost memorized before I started wearing full pants.
However, reading this one book alone did not stop my practice of science. in order
Gradually I began to wander from the dark to the dark branches of science and at one point I realized that a man can attain the status of a lion in the society only if he has a nose that attracts attention. But I am not a servant of sitting with my hands folded only knowing the theory. So to straighten the nose, every morning I started to pull the tip of the nose for a couple of times, along with six sips of alcohol.
After growing up one day my father took me to his study room. After sitting together, father asked, what is the purpose of your life?
Nasology, father, I replied. What is that again, Robert?
The science that deals with the nose. Can you say what the nose means?
Look, father said I. About a thousand authors have given different definitions of the nose. (I took out my watch from my pocket.) Now if we talk about all the definitions of noon, night will become noon. But don't worry, we have complete retirement. At the outset, according to Bartholinus, the nose is the swollen part of the wart-mouth.
"Enough, Robert," interrupted the father. I am thunderstruck - frankly - heart pounding at your wealth of knowledge. (Father closed his eyes and hugged his chest) Come here. (Suddenly the old gentleman grasped my hand.) The evidence of knowledge shows that your education is complete—therefore there should be no delay in choosing a livelihood. And in that case it would be most reasonable for you to go by the nose, so (Father kicks me downstairs, then rushes and kicks me out the door again.) So get out of my house this instant, and God help you!
I felt a divine inspiration. It seems that the accident that just happened is not an accident, but this incident will open new doors of prosperity for me. I decided to follow my father's advice. I must go forward along the nose. I stood there, held my nose for a couple of puffs, and in a few days wrote a book on nasal science.
There was a stir across the fam-fudge.' 'Born in the moment!' Wrote Quarterly.
'Extraordinary physiologist!' Wrote Westminster
'Cunning!' Foreign wrote.
'Jhanu writer!' Edinburgh wrote.
'Deep thinker!' Written by Dublin.
'Great man.' Bentley wrote.
'Prophet!' Fraser wrote
'One of us!' wrote Blackwood.
'Who is the man?' Mrs. Byas Blew wrote.
'What does the man do?' Written by Miss (Big) Vyas Blue.
'Where can he be found,' wrote Miss (small) diameter Blue. But I didn't listen to these nonsense magazines and people and I went straight into an artist's studio.
Bless-my-soul country duchess sits for portrait; The marquis of So-and-so country is handling the duchess's porter; The Earl of This-and-That (This-cad-That) speaks softly, and the Royal Highness of Touch-me-Not (Touch-me-Not) leans back in a chair.
I went to the artist and raised my nose.
'How lovely' sighed the Duchess.
Aha!' said the Marquis.
'How terrible!' The Royal Earl was startled.
'What a wretch!' roared Royal Hine.
'How much do you want?' asked the artist.
'For the nose,' cried the Duchess. "One thousand pounds" I sat down.
'A thousand pounds?' The artist said in a dreamy voice.
'A thousand pounds,' said I. 'Fantastic' said the overwhelmed artist.
'A thousand pounds,' said I.
'Are you giving a mature word?' The artist turned his nose towards the light and asked. well
I shook my nose and said, 'Very ripe.'
'Hope it doesn't have any shafts? The artist touched his nose respectfully.
'Hmm!' I snorted.
No artist has duplicated it? He asked as he examined the nose under a microscope.
'Wonderful!' The artist almost fell after seeing the habit of holding his nose up.
A thousand pounds,' I said.
A thousand pounds, said the artist.
'That's right,' I said.
'A thousand pounds?' The artist said again.
'Absolutely right,' I said.
'You will,' said the artist. What a wonderful creation of God. There he cut a check for 1000 pounds and sketched my nose. I rented a house in Jermyn Street
. Then I sent the Ninety-ninth edition of 'Nasika Vigyan' with a sketch of the nose to the Queen. Within a few days the sullen little Prince of Wales invited me to dinner.
On reaching the right place, I saw that the invited guests were like me, that is, almost all of them had attained the status of a lion in the society.
After a while the speech of the guests started. The first to speak was a modern Platonist who gave a very enlightening speech with quotations from Porphyry, Iamblichus, Plotinus, Proclus, Hierocles, Maximus Tyrius and Syrianus.
Then arose Human-Perfectibility, a scholar. He quotes from Target, Price, Priestly, Condorcet, The Stahl and 'Ambitious Students in Ill Health'.
Then came Sir Positive Paradox. Through a fiery speech he proved that only fools are philosophers, therefore all philosophers of the world are fools.
Then Aesthetics Ethics. He discussed energy unity, atom, pre-birth life, human relationships, differences and primordial knowledge. Then theologians theology. He quotes from Eusebius and Arrian; Discusses traditional religion, dissension, early Catholicism, and uniformity of substance.
Then there is the famous digest of Roger the Canke. He discussed various recipes of meat, cauliflower and orange jelly.
Then bibulus and bumper. He discusses famous figures such as Latour, Marcbranen, Chambertin, Mouchaud, Richbourg, St. George, Habrian, Leonville, Medoc, Barrack, Prignac, Grave and St. Pierre. After these discussions, Claus de Vugo, who was sitting next to him with his eyes closed, began to explain the difference between Sherry and Amontillado.
Then Signor Tritontintino of Florence. First he discusses Cimabue, Arpino, Carpaccio and Argostino. Then he started film criticism. He discussed the melancholy of El Caravaggio, the charm of Ambano, the ingenuity of color in Titian, the women of Rubens and the irony of Jan Steen.
Then the president of Pham-Faz University. He said, the moon is called by different names in different parts of the world. Bettis in Thrace, Bubastis in Egypt, Diana in Rome, and Artemis in Greece.
Then the spitting sage of Istanbul. He said, Angels originated from horses, roosters and oxen. He said, there is an animal in the sixth heaven, whose number of heads alone is seventy thousand. He said, the world is standing on the back of an azure cow with numerous green horns.
Then Delphinus Polyglot. He discussed about lost great literature. Said, what is the result of Aeschylus' thirty-three tragedies; Of the fifty-four orations of Issias and the three hundred and ninety-one speeches of Lysias, the eighty terms of Theophastus; of the eighth chapter of Apollonius' Conic Section; Pindar's hymns and songs to the Greek wine-god Bacchus; and of the forty-five tragedies of Homekar's eldest son.
Then Ferdinand Fitz-Fossil Felthamper. He discussed the inherent brilliance of man and the nature of the structure of matter. No solid, liquid, gaseous matter was left out. He said, about crystal and essence; About Shishta and Shrol;
Regarding gypsum and trap,
About powder and lime?
About Blade and E Blade?
About Mycastle and Pudding-Stone; About sialite and lepidolite; About hemolite and tremolite; About antimony and chalcedony;
Manganese spoke of so many other things that I cannot say any more—think to your heart's content.
Finally it was my turn. I stood up slowly. Then I said My word; Then my own words, then my words, then my words again, then my nasal science booklet, then my words again. And finally, my nose up
talk
'Rare genius.' said the Prince of Wales. 'All-knowing. said the guests.
The very next day the Duchess of Bless-my-soul came to see me. Smacking Tuski on the cheek, he said, 'Hey Sundar, will you go to Almax?
I will go, I said.
With a nose? He wanted to know.
He said, I replied.
So here is my card. Dear, I hope you will go soon?
'Certainly, I will take my full' heart.
'I have never spoken about my heart! Even if you don't take it with you
Beloved, as this heart is yours, so is this nose, I said
will continue But do not leave the nose!
Not only the nose, every drop of blood will take every vein, vein. After finishing the talk, I reached Almax in a blink of an eye after twisting my nose a couple of times.
There is no place to store sesame seeds in the palace.
He is coming! Someone said from the top of the stairs.
He is coming! Someone else said from a few steps up.
He is coming! Someone else said from a few steps up. He is coming! A third person said from above.
He has come! cried the duchess- Oit, my darling!
He rushed and hugged me with both hands, then kissed me three times on the nose.
Immediately there was an uproar throughout the palace.
Satan! cried Count Capricornus. Paji! Don Stiletto began to grumble.
Bajjat! said the Elector of Grenouille.
Such an insult cannot be tolerated. Especially the words of the selector were burning. My nose turned up in anger. I ran to the selector.
I said, sir! You are an eggplant!
He was shocked at the first monkey talk. After a while he said, 'Sir! You are a slut! Great lust!
Then that's what happened. We exchanged cards and the next morning descended into the duel. I blew his nose off with one punch within the first few moments. Then I went to Birdarp to my friends.
'Haba!' Said the first friend.
'Go!' said the second friend.
'Handa!' said the third friend.
'Donkey!' Said the fourth friend.
'Kabbalah!' said the fifth friend.
'Vabla!' said the sixth friend.
I was shocked to hear the words. This is the use of old friends. I went to meet my father with a sad heart.
'Share that!' said the seventh friend.
Wanted to know, father, you have surpassed the main goal of my life. Admittedly, you have a wonderful nose; But the selector has no nose. And that's why people blessed him, but cursed you. It is true that in Pham-Fuz the greatness of a lion is measured by the size of its nose—but alas! A lion that has no nose, what to fight with him?
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